Title

If Wishes Were Horses...

Friday, 17 June 2011

Pirhana Pedicure

RE: the change in my profile description, when friends came round for pizza and a chat last night, one of them, Tom, was amused when I told him about this blog after hearing about the fish pedicure treatment thingy you can get in the Arndale Center, Manchester. The conversation turned from a rather horrible-sounding beauty/pamper treatment option to what would happen if a Kingsian event* occurred while someone's foot was in the bowl.

Cue wobbly visual effect as my mind went into If Wishes Were Horses mode and I felt a desperate urge to describe my great vision. That's when Tom uttered the line, "The inside of your head is an interesting place."

I love it, and from now on, that's my profile description.

John Bryan Doctor fish:
You quibble, we nibble
But really, people, just imagine the possibilities! Your vulnerable bare feet are in this bowl, and in there with them are these innocent-looking fishies, nibbling away at the bits John Bryan wouldn't touch with a bargepole. What is apparently supposed to be this:

...ends up being a much more frightening proposition. Methinks the fishy ate the other foot. Well, it looks like that from here.
Your other foot. Put it in.

Of course, it transpires that what I thought was a witless witty and clever take on a new pampering phenomenon turns out to be completely unoriginal. Dang!

But still, there's a possibility that someone on drugs with a bit of imagination (who can resist the urge to hit the Strikethrough button every few minutes) could make a halfway decent horror straight-to-video flick on the subject. Or we could ask Eli Roth if he's willing to make a sensitive documentary or existentialist art film about it. You know, like Hostel, but with pirhanas in pedicure bowls.

Perhaps the Hollywood powers-that-be would consider the idea as a Saw prequel.

Just a thought...

*I just made up the term to describe the idea of an event of the kind horror writer Stephen King might think of if I didn't get there first; the idea of something that is relatively harmless, such as machines, suddenly going psycho on you. Mind you, he probably has already. It could be sitting on an editor's desk as you read this.

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